I will survive

So yes, I survived however many days of Hubs-less existence that I had. I think it was like 66 days or something like that. I got used to him being away, and it was a bit of an adjustment when he came back and I had to share my space with him.

I started off strong with taking the dog out and exercising and training for the 20k over Labor Day weekend, but I had a series of disruptions that threw me seriously off-track.

Setback #1: I got a new job. At the end of June I interviewed for a part-time position at a place where I had done substitute work, and they took me on for 18 hours. I quit my old job and So I was working three nights a week, then three afternoons, with one day off a week. Also it started raining and didn’t stop and then it stayed cold (cold being anything less than 86 degrees). We really didn’t get a proper summer here in Connecticut, and I’m dreading what this winter will bring.

Setback #2: Lyme disease! (Seriously.) (Perhaps.) In the third week of July I suddenly broke out into itchy hives, and the next day the joints that connected my thumb to my hand became swollen and red. I was fortunate to find a decently-priced walk-in clinic that got me on antibiotics right away. I felt perfectly fine in a matter of days, but I still wanted to take it easy because Lyme disease affects the joints. My blood test came back negative, but Lyme is notoriously difficult to diagnose through blood tests. If I did have it, I got it treated in the early stages and should have no lasting effects down the line.

Setback #3: At the end of July like a week before hubs came home, the apartment building adjoining mine caught on fire in the middle of the night. Everyone and their pets got out okay, but the six apartments in the adjoining building are basically destroyed, as are the three apartment in my building that were next to the other building. About a dozen people were displaced, and I had a little soot damage from the firefighters breaking in to my apartment. It was hectic for a few weeks with restoration companies cleaning the apartment, taking all my rugs and curtains and clothing for a cleaning, replacing the door and locks, and me having to live in a hotel room for a few days. Things are more or less back to normal now, and though I’ve somehow gotten used to living next to a burned-out building, it’s not an experience I ever want to repeat again.

With all the chaos, as well as a minor car accident and ice cream maker purchase and a mini-vacation in July, I gained a few pounds and was seriously thrown off my exercise schedule and had to defer my entrance into the 20k. I was struggling to finish 5 miles, so the 12.4 miles just wasn’t going to safely happen. It doesn’t help that we keep having visitors to see my hubs off before he goes off for the Long Haul, which has been rescheduled to October. However, I’m super-glad to have him here an extra month, and he’s happy to be here too. He gained a couple pounds abroad too (easy to do if you’re living with a host family that’s constantly trying to feed you) and has been a semi-willing participant in my quest to fit in some hiking adventures in Connecticut before he leaves.

I feel like all the bullshit I had to deal with over the summer – on my own, without the hubs – has shown me just how resilient I can be. I’ve also learned to take it easy on myself and not beat myself up when I falter in my health plans. The job change alone was disruptive enough, but I had so much other awfulness heaped on my plate at the same time, it’s no wonder I got off-track. And I’m doing my best to fix it now. A couple weeks ago I went back to logging my food through LoseIt, and though it led to some kinda destructive behavior when I used it before, overall it’s a useful tool and I think I know how to recognize that behavior now and stop it from happening this time around.


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